by Sandra Zimmer
When you learn to engage the power of receptive connection, you create authentic human connection and feel freer to share your ideas, insights and expertise. Creating the experience of connection with others is as important to your success as mastering your area of expertise.
Several years ago, I was privileged to speak at Houston’s PBS Channel 8 Living Smart Conference for women. My talk focused on the power of receptive connection and how that makes it easier to communicate with others. My opportunity to speak at this conference was an example of the very thing I was talking about at the conference and in this article. I was there because of my connection to Myra Logan and Dr. Happy Babish. Myra and Happy believed in my work on public speaking and urged the Channel 8 program committee to include me. Without a connection to these two wonderful women, I would not have been able to share my message at this conference.
What is Connection?
Connection is a two-way exchange of attention and energy. It is the inner freedom to give attention to others and receive attention from others. When you actually connect, there is an exchange of spiritual energy that feels good.
The reason connection is so important is that everything in life runs off of connection. Nothing happens without connection. Connection happens on three levels. Connection with yourself, with others and with God.
Connection to yourself first is important. You must be able to receive yourself. Receiving yourself allows you to focus internally and identify what you think, feel and believe. Inner connection happens when you pay attention to what you are thinking and feeling. It shows you who you really are and gives you a sense of confidence in yourself. You can feel what you feel and think what you think and express who you are.
Connection with others allows success in life. When you open to receive others, you allow a stream of love, support, money and opportunities to come to you. You become magnetic to all good things. We can say that all things come from God, but they come through other human beings. In the case of my opportunity to speak at the Living Smart conference, the opportunity came through Myra and Happy.
Connection with God propels you to your highest potential. It inspires you to improve yourself, to be creative and to touch others in positive and transformative ways. The more you receive God’s higher force and embody your Soul, the more others are attracted to you and the more life can bring opportunities for success.
Receptive Connection is Essential to Success
No matter who you are or what you do, the ability to connect is an essential ingredient to success. The ability to make receptive connection with other people opens all kinds of possibilities for creating relationships, for sales and doing business, for leading groups, teams, families and for influencing family friends, clients and co-workers.
On top of all that, the ability to connect makes life FUN! It is fun to walk around in the world and connect with all kinds of people! It’s fun to experience the magic that happens when you are open to receiving others.
How I Teach Receptive Connection
To help make connecting easy, I teach an eye contact skill which I have called “receiving the flow of attention” from others. Everyone knows that they should make eye contact, but not many people feel comfortable making deep connection. They will glance toward others…not really connecting, not really seeing individuals and not allowing themselves to be seen
There is a way to use your eyes that makes it feel safer to connect with individuals and groups. I call it a soft eye focus or soft eyes. Here’s how to make soft eye contact with others.
- Let your eyes go slightly unfocused and soft so you see things kind of peripherally rather than with a hard focus.
- Then, gently land your eyes on one person at a time focusing on seeing the whole space around that person.
- Do not focus hard on any place on that person, rather see the whole of them.
- Draw their attention through your eyes. Imagine you are a piece of photographic paper. Allow the energy of others to come into you and receive the impression of them.
Using soft eyes causes you to see with the eyes of love. You see people with acceptance rather than with judgment. That feels safer and creates a heart connection with others.
I encourage everyone to learn to engage the power of receptive connection so that you feel free to share your ideas, insights and expertise more fully.