Once in a while, I have the pleasure of working with someone who is giving a speech at a wedding. If any speech should come from the heart, it would be a wedding toast. Last week a delightful man, I’ll call him Daniel, came for help with giving the speech of his life at his daughter’s wedding.
Daniel was visibly anxious about this talk. While he had some great ideas on what to say, his main concern was that he would lose his composure during the speech. He was afraid to break down and cry. He is not the only client who has expressed this fear!
I wanted to soothe his fear if I could. I told him that it is acceptable to feel and express emotion at weddings and other such events where human beings are celebrating rites of passage like funerals, christenings, graduations etc. In fact, it is required to feel and express emotion. To hold back emotions would be inauthentic and would appear to be uncaring.
When speaking at a wedding, it is important to allow the heart to be touched. When the heart is touched, it causes emotional energy to flow up from the heart into the throat, so the voice naturally breaks and emotion pours through the sounds of the words. I encouraged Daniel to let his emotional energy be shared with his daughter, her groom and all who are present at the wedding.
Instead of trying to control emotion, I want my clients and myself to learn to we speak from our hearts and use the emotional energy to create genuine connection. It is such a lovely experience to share human emotion at significant life events! It is not a sign of weakness, but of tenderness and of the heart’s ability to feel love for others.
