by Sandra Zimmer
Developing your power of presence will help you compel attention when you speak in groups, meetings and presentations.
When people speak in front of groups, their attention is often so split that their presence is not powerful enough to hold other’s attention. Recall a time when you were delivering an important message and sensed that your listeners were not really paying attention. You may have felt physically tense or been distracted by emotional anxiety or the thought that you might not say it right.
Part of your attention was on the tension in your physical body. Another part of your attention was on mental anxiety and still another part was focused on self-judgment that you might not be perfect. With your own attention split in several inner directions, your attention was not focused on your message and on connecting with your audience. It’s not surprising that others might not have paid enough attention to you and your message.
Here’s my definition of presence. Presence is a sense of being fully here, in this moment, when all aspects of your being – physical, mental and emotional – are focused together on what is happening now. When your attention is that focused, you exude a strong “presence” that others can sense. Presence creates a concentrated sense of power that tends to compel the attention of other people.
Below are some keys to developing both presence and connection so that you capture attention. These keys to the power of presence will allow you to hold other’s rapt in attention.
- Ground your body to experience the sensation of presence. Get out of your head and get into your body. Cultivate the ability to relax your mental attention down through your body all the way to your feet. Imagine you melt energy out of your head and let it flow down to fill your entire body. Grounding your body creates a sense of strength, stability and the awareness of being in the present moment.
- Warm up your body. Before you speak or present, make sure you have done enough physical exercise so that everything is loose and flowing. You may not realize the degree to which physical tension impairs your ability to communicate freely. Actors and athletes know the power of warming up. You should too.
- Let others see your real self rather than projecting an image. Let go of performing for them and be with them. Create a style of speaking based on being who you really are rather than who you think you should be. The more real you are, the more people will be drawn to you.
- Explore the tension of being the center of attention with a sense of acceptance rather than self-judgment. If you experience fear and anxiety to speak in front of others, you have the potential to be a high-impact speaker. Fear of public speaking means you have passion energy that is blocked in your body and you are not allowing it to flow freely. Give yourself permission to feel the tension and experience it until it releases into flow. You have strong feelings! Your feelings are up to the surface so use them to create genuine emotional connection with others.
- Integrate your real, “in the moment” feelings into the presentation. Be real with them so something real can happen in the space between you. Allow them to see who you are inside. Don’t be afraid to say, “You know, every time I speak in groups I feel tension because I want to do a good job of communicating with you.” This creates genuine connection with your listeners.
- Breathe. I mean really breathe. Take deep breaths, fast breaths, slow breaths, until you relax. Breathing helps oxygenate your brain and relaxes your body. Spend 10 to 15 minutes breathing deeply and consciously before your presentation.
- Receive your “audience” to create electricity. Receive the flow of attention from your listeners. Use soft eye contact to open yourself to take people’s attention in. Don’t worry about being pumped up for your audience. Instead, allow the connection and electricity to build naturally as you receive the flow of their attention.
- Let go of perfectionism. Give up the idea that you have to be perfect in order to be effective. Effectiveness is not about your performance. Effectiveness is what happens to your listeners. If they are changed for the better by your communication, then you have been effective.
- Choose to love them rather than worrying if they will like you. Extend your love and acceptance to them. Detach from what they think and feel and give them permission to like your message or not. This is a very powerful space from which to communicate. It radiates the power of presence.
- Talk to one person at a time, even in a large group. Make a one-to-one connection. Have a conversation with one person, then another, then another. Your attention on one person almost guarantees they will all pay attention to you.
Each of these keys to presence will enhance your power of presence and allow you to hold the center of attention with ease and even joy. It is so much fun to experience your presence holding the center of attention.
As the coach of nine NBA champion teams Phil Jackson said, “True joy comes from being fully present in each and every moment, not just when things are going your way. Of course, it’s no accident that things are more likely to go your way when you stop worrying about whether you’re going to win or lose and focus your full attention on what’s happening right this moment.”
Practice these keys to presence when speaking to groups and enjoy the feeling of your own presence as you speak. You’ll see that most everyone is paying attention to you because of your powerful presence.